By Virginia Scholtz
Northside News
Northsider MaryRay Katsuma sports a pink shirt with personalized lettering on the back: “Took 52 years to find her.” Ask her about it and she will tell you the one she found was her twin sister. MaryRay’s mother, Michiko, lived in a small village in Japan. As a young woman, Michiko moved to the town of Sasebo, where she could earn enough to support herself and her extended family. The U.S. Navy had a base nearby. Michiko fell in love with one of the American men. They wanted to marry, but his mother wouldn’t accept an interracial marriage. Even though they were pregnant, the young man had to return to the states without a bride.
Michiko stayed in Japan and gave birth to twin girls, Diana and MaryRay. There wasn’t much money and the three-generation family now had extra mouths to feed. Soon an intriguing opportunity presented itself. An American husband and Japanese wife wanted to start a family. In fact, in order to smooth the way back to the U.S., they told their parents they were already pregnant.
As the due date grew nearer, the couple had to face reality. They heard there were biracial babies in the area and reached out to Michiko, who was reluctant to part with one of the girls. Her mother talked her into letting one twin have a chance at the “rich” lifestyle so many knew from the movies. Diana was adopted and taken to the U.S., while MaryRay lived in the picturesque mountains of her homeland.
When MaryRay was about 7 years old, her mother married a Navy man. The new family was first stationed in Madison, then in San Diego. In 1980, as a young adult, MaryRay came back to Madison to be with her mother.
MaryRay didn’t learn that she had a sister until she was about 13 years old. Maybe she had a story that would explain why she felt something was missing from her life. In her twenties she watched a Twin Research documentary and learned about twins who had been separated as children and later reunited. She hoped she could find her sister.
MaryRay also searched for her biological father. She found him living in Alabama only because his number was in a phone book. Her first contact was sending him a Christmas card in 2005.
Meanwhile, she met Ken Katsuma, the man who would become her husband. They were married in 2006 in a traditional Buddhist wedding. MaryRay wore a kimono and the couple performed the ritual Japanese San San Kudo ceremony.
In the fall of 2006, MaryRay and her mother had the joy of a phone call from her birth father. It was the first time father and daughter had
ever spoken.
Still searching for her sister, MaryRay finally tried the website classmate.com where, in 2009, she found Diana, who was living in California. Now both sisters live in Madison. They take one another shopping and are always ready for any kind of fun that pops up, making up for the 52 lost years.
Due to COVID restrictions, there was no family Christmas gathering this year. Instead MaryRay and Ken became “Doorbell Santas” and exchanged packages with all the households in their family.
MaryRay is working on a book to tell her story more completely. Her wish for the New Year is “peace for our country and health to all.” Her email signature includes this inspirational quote, “Life is too short, show the one you love, your love.”
1950s United States-Japanese relations
After World War II, the U.S. promised military protection to Japan in return for an agreement that Japan would not again raise its own army. It was seen as a practical way to prevent intrusion by Japan’s enemies in eastern Asia. Although they fought as bitter enemies, Japan and the U.S. became economic allies in the 1950s. William Deming was a U.S. engineer and statistician who is known for his work with postwar Japanese manufacturing. The first Toyota was imported in 1957. By 1960 Japan had become the second strongest economy on the planet.
San San Kudo
The San San Kudo Wedding Ceremony dates from the 1600s. It involves the ritual sharing of Sake. Three sakazulki cups are stacked. Each partner takes three small sips from each cup. The cups are said to represent love, wisdom and happiness. Three is symbolic because it cannot be divided in two and so bodes a strong and lasting union.
Source: Japanese Wedding Traditions: San San Kudo – JapaneseStyle.com
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